You’re probably already seeing the same old shite you see every year on social media and on television centred around generic New Year’s Resolutions.
Lose the holiday weight! Stop drinking for January. New year, new me! 2020 is going to be the year I ……*enter generic resolution*
I’m not saying that any of these are a bad idea, particularly, but are they relevant for you? These are the things we tell ourselves we “should” do but they are so general not really tied to any long term goals. So often, this is why we “fail”. We join the gym because it’s January and we have been told to lose weight because we ate too much over Christmas and not because feeling stronger or faster will be beneficial to our overall wellbeing.
I think there is a better way to plan for the year ahead and get what you want out of it.
This time of year, in between Christmas and New Year, is a perfect time to check in with yourself and reflect.
In a world that seems increasingly chaotic and full of obstacles waiting to trip you up, it’s easy to feel lost and confused or like you are just sleepwalking through life. Life can get really overwhelming and Christmas especially can be a stressful time with expectations and comparisons at an all time high. So schedule in some “me time’ wherever you can manage to squeeze it in, turn off your phone and check in with yourself.
This can look like anything you like. You could take an evening to yourself and go all out; have a bath, light some candles, meditate and journal. Maybe you take a nice long walk and then sit in your favourite cafe with your notebook or your laptop. Whatever feels good for you, just carve out a day/half day/couple of hours to spend some time alone, reflect on the year and how you are feeling as we start a new one.
Use your alone time to look back on 2019 and ask yourself a few questions:
- What went well this year?
- What didn’t go so well?
- What do you want more of?
- What do you want less of?
- What made you feel proud?
- What are some of the best memories you made?
Go way beyond 2020 and think about what your overall vision for your life is!
It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day and forget the big picture stuff so try to zoom out and think about your overall wants and needs. I love to do this visualisation exercise every year to really get me into the right frame of mind and thinking long term.
Close your eyes and think about the kind of life you want for yourself, the life you want to be living in five or 10 years’ time.
- Where are you?
- Who are you with?
- What kinds of things are you doing together?
- What do you talk about?
- What does your typical day look like?
- How do you spend your time?
- What do you do for fun?
- What is your environment like?
- What gives you purpose?
- What gives you personal satisfaction?
Write it down.
Now, think about what you need to do to be able to live that for real.
- Do you need to earn more money?
- Do you need to invest in your education?
- Do you need to find more people who have the same hobbies as you?
- Do you need to repair some relationships in your life?
- Do you need a bigger support network?
- Do you need to move to a bigger/smaller city?
When we set goals based on other people’s idea of what we should be doing, we find it harder to get motivated or stay on track and we feel bad about ourselves. When we set them based on our own specific needs and wants, we feel more confident, more motivated and are less likely to compare ourselves to anyone else. Your goals should be getting you closer to the life you want, not some arbitrary list of things you “should” be or have.
Now that you have a handle on your long term goals, break those down into manageable short term objectives.
What do you need to have done by the end of the year? By summer? By the end January?
Is there something you can do today, right now, that will start you in the right direction? Maybe you want to do a course in a topic you are interested in. So, today you just take the simple step of searching some websites or colleges in your area that do this course. Then perhaps tomorrow you get in touch with them to ask about the application process.
You might be thinking about getting back into a sport you used to love so you could start there. Find somewhere locally that you join a class or a club.
It can be scary, at first, breaking your routine to do something new but it’s so worth it! You deserve it.
The end of the year is a nice time to reflect for most of us as work and life slow down for the holidays but it can also be a difficult time so don’t feel pressured to have or be anything in particular. I also like check in on my birthday or the anniversary of moving to London (or whatever city I’ve decided to uproot my life for at the time) because they are significant markers of time in my life as well. You don’t have to have your shit together just because it’s January! And you also don’t have to wait til Jan, just make a decision and start today.
Listen: Conversation with YogaGirl – Rituals to Set New Years Resolutions https://www.yogagirl.com/podcast, Affirmation Pod – Motivation for your best 2020 http://traffic.libsyn.com/clean/affirmationpod/228_Motivation_for_Your_Best_2020.mp3?dest-id=291603
Watch: Lululemon Guided Visualisation –https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xM_Ztreqjg&feature=youtu.be
Read: Brian Tracy 7 Goal-Setting Questions – https://hoopthoughts.blogspot.com/2010/10/brian-tracy-7-goal-setting-questions.html